About 2 years ago my friend Shari and I both had some major stresses in our lives resulting in changes in marital status among other things. It was about that time that we both took up mountain biking in earnest. While I won't make this blog entry a screenplay for a movie on the Lifetime or WE channel ("Mountain Biking Divorcees Take on the World and Dirt"), it's irresistable to make comparisons of fat-tire achievements to post-divorce life: overcoming fears of downhills, jumping over obstacles, and getting up after a fall.
Anyhoo, today Shari and I had one of the finest days on our bikes at Dryer Road Park. There's nothing like riding a narrow, twisting, and root-clogged single track to hone one's mental focus. You really must look only at the path that you want to go (and not at the object with which you don't want to collide)--there's not much time for anything else. That is, until I fall. I just need to fall hard a couple of times to become mentally paralyzed with the FEAR of falling, with the MEMORY of pain. I'm trying to practice some mental toughness to combat this fear, letting each subsequent log I clear, each climb I clean be a small victory to erase that fear. I also find that having Shari ride in front of me and seeing her bounce over those logs or descend over a ledge staying upright really helps me overcome my fear as well.
We're coming to a part of the trail with alot of climbs with logs. I usually unclip, hit the brakes, dab, get off and walk the bike here. Not today. Shari's absolute fearlessness inspires me over the first log. Just as I'm relieved to stay upright I hear her,"Another log right around the bend...pedal, pedal, pedal!!!" And then I'm over the second one. My first time clearing that section of trail ever.
When I ask her what she's thinking going over those bumps.
"I'm not. I know I can do it and I just go."
There's a lesson here for me. I think about Mary telling me to race more with my heart. I'm learning to concentrate without overthinking, act on instinct (which is trusting my abilities), and acknowledging fear without letting it dominate my emotions. My hope is that these lessons will carry over to training, racing, and living.
I thank her for riding first and inspiring me with her courage. She tells me that having me behind her drives her to ride harder up the hills because she doesn't want to slow me down. Ahh, mountain bike symbiosis...
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