Anticipation

Today I rode down a drop-off and stayed shiny side up. It wasn't terribly long--no more than 1.5-2 feet--but the biggest drop-off I've ever gone down and stayed upright to date. It was part of a downhill that I had never been on. Kevy was way ahead and said nothing. I crested the hill, started the steepish descent, and was caught completely unaware. Before I could rationalize,"Put your weight and butt (yep, they are very equivalent) behind the bike, behind the seat." It just happened. I more or less did that and down I went. Is that what instinct is?
I was exhilarated and proud of my small victory. I was even more happy to avoid the whole rigmarole of seeing the obstacle, sensing fear of injury, berating myself for being a pussy, overcoming fear and self-flagellation, thinking about the technical steps of traversing the obstacle, and *big sigh* feeling my back wheel bounce over it.
By the time that drop off registered in my little neurotic brain, I didn't have time to anticipate any fear or that Carly Simon song. I believe the neurologic pathway was mostly subconscious and went like this: Drop off--> self-preservation-->lean back, hold on. And that's it. I'm going to hold on to today's experience in order to pull it out of my files during a race. Don't get me wrong--no one...and I mean it, NO ONE loves to belabor the details and the possible scenarios--good and bad of racing and training than me. However, after clearing that drop-off today (almost accidentally), I went on to bounce over the every log where I usually clip-out or dab. I had let go of anticipation today, skipped an entire well-rehearsed pathway of neurosis, and added a few pennies to the bank of bike handling skills.