Recovery vs. Ego

The race plan for Spring Forward last Sunday was to run the first 5 miles at marathon pace and the last 4.5 miles at tempo--even up the hills. Not a problem! The average pace would be the pace I would like to hold for Eagleman; and I was excited to try it out. I felt very confident about my ability to accomplish the task, but brought Shari along for insurance. She's a much stronger and faster runner than I am, but was willing to run any pace with me as Sunday was her day for a long run. I figured she can easily hold my tempo pace and regale me about her adventures in home waxing.


The spirit was willing, but the legs were leaden. "What the hell is up?" I thought and ran through my list of potential problems:


Calories? I had 500 Cal for breakfast, drank 200 Cal of OJ before the race, and ate 2 gels during.


Hydration? I drank a cup of water at every aid station.


Sodium? It's only a 9.3 mile run in 45 degree weather for crying out loud.


Lactic acid? Don't think so. I ran an easy 7 miles the day before and was 48 hours from an FTP ride.


IT-band acting up? Nope. It felt fine.


Kitima is a pansy-ass? Sheesh. I kept saying to myself "Push push push. Drive drive drive." I didn't feel defeated or negative or distracted (okay, maybe a few of the waxing stories made me blush).


So I crossed the finish line slower than last year's time and knew in my heart what I needed: a recovery week. I had been fighting off an indolent feeling of lethargy for 2 weeks. I'd wake up and feel like I could do an Ironman then by the time I came home from work could barely get myself out the door for a 45 min e pace run. The onset of the lethargy would get earlier in the day so that by 10 am I was ready for a nap. I blamed it all on work: it can drain all the fun from the air sometimes. It's easy for me to villify the things I dislike and harder to admit that sometimes the reason I struggle is because I need to slow down and take a breather.
So I did it. I asked Coach Mary for a recovery week minutes after I finished the race. What a feeling of relief--free of guilt and self-flagellation! Finally, my ego had been broken down by broken down legs.
With recovery weeks not being regularly scheduled every 4th week this season, a battle between my ego and my gentle voice of reason has been raging since the first day of training. I've surprised myself with how long I can go without a recovery week or day off, but I fear that I've ignored or minimized some obvious signs that I need rest. I rationalized,"Kevin went 8 weeks without a recovery--I should too...I'll just hang on with another week and see how I feel...I'm tired from work stress, doing my taxes, scooping cat litter---not training!"
I completely understand the importance of rest. I don't think that I'm super human and above it. Instead, I feel that asking for rest is a sign of weakness (common stigma scorned by surgeons). There's no stopping feelings. Repression just delays emotions that we don't allow ourselves to feel now. Well, weak or not, recovery week is pure luxury that feels rejuvenating and just what I need!