True Love

The day after Longhorn 70.3 we went for one last dip in Barton Springs before leaving Texas. The cool water helped soothe our aching muscles; and the easy swim helped flush out the lactic acid. I was blessed with yet another cool bird sighting.

A snowy egret was wading along the bank stirring up fish with its bright yellow feet. I quietly swam closer to get a better look and it quickly let me now the limits of its personal space by giving me the hairy eyeball. When it felt secure that I wouldn't get any closer, it went back to its frantic foot-stirring forage. What a joy to watch this amazing creature! Kevin joined me. For someone who isn't a Bird Nerd like me, he was entranced with my Animal Planet moment. I told him about a book called "The Big Year". It told the true story of 3 birders who were competing for the most North American species of birds seen in one year---1998, in fact, the year that El Nino blew a bunch of birds off of their migratory paths to unusual places. In the book, all 3 birders made trips to Attu Island, the westernmost part of America--the last island of the Aleutian Islands, to see seabirds blown in from Mongolia. The winner of the competition logged in over 300 species in that one year. He spent most of the year traveling all over North America just to see some rare bird. When he saw it, he quickly checked it off his list and moved on to the next species to be seen. I said to Kevin that he didn't take time to watch these birds in their habitat being birds, that the birding was just a means of winning some competition, that he really didn't love them the way that I loved watching my friend the snowy egret that afternoon.

It got me to thinking about triathlon. I knew alot of people that seemed dedicated to triathlon (or golf or surgery or financial planning), were very successful at it, but didn't convince me that they really loved it. It's obvious that we all want to keep doing what we think we're good or even one of the best at doing. Who doesn't want a place on a podium, a gold medal, or a first place ribbon? My question is: Do we do these things because we like winning or because we like the actual activity? Is winning enough?

So I asked myself: Why do I persist with swimming when I'm barely clinging to average in my abilities to move myself through water? Because I've continued to improve every year since I've been in triathlon--so I guess that's like winning a personal victory. I enjoy being in water. What kid doesn't? In the very least, it gets me closer to fish and birds that I really love!

Why ride bikes? Why NOT? What's not to love about a bike ride? My Big Wheel (circa 1972) could conquer any puddle in Brooklyn the same way my mountain bike can leap over any rock or root in Ontario county.

Why run? Why NOT? What's not to love about being outside and running around with friends? It's a happiness deeply rooted in playing tag, Red Rover with childhood pals.

So maybe the real question is: Why train to swim, bike, run faster? It's obvious I love riding and running for the sake of each activity. So why don't I just ride and run? Why to do I RACE?There are very few opportunities for disappointment in just riding a bike or going out for a run without any measurement of pace/speed, distance, or time. There are plenty of opportunities for disappointment, disillusionment, and frustration in a triathlon: bad weather, bad nutrition, bad race execution, better/faster/thinner competitors. Certainly winning despite all those factors makes for a greater sense of accomplishment than just going out for an untimed splash in the water, a bike ride, and a jog without competition. I've also heard that we should race within overselves, that triathlon is an individual sport, that crossing the finish line is victory enough...But is it, really?!

Looking back on my performance in Austin, I felt that I executed my race plan perfectly and did the best I could with the training I had (what little of it) and the conditions of the race (hot). While I feel like I finally learned from all the mistakes I'd made with following a race plan, I am still disappointed with my results. As I mentioned in my race report, that is a result of poor management of expectations. The part of me that loves to travel and see new places on 2 wheels and 2 very hot and tired feet loved that race. The part of me that likes to win did not.

So do I have true love for triathlon? Yes, I do. I love the opportunity to indulge in this time-consuming and expensive hobby that taps into my childhood sense of playing outside with my pals. Even when I am disappointed with myself in a race, I still am grateful to be part of it. Of course, I love it even more when I win.