Pool Math and The Matrix

6 years ago I started swimming with a Masters group and was introduced to pool math--counting strokes per 25 yard length and laps for sets of 100's, 150's, etc. Not a problem! I'm Asian. I should have some inherent math ability. Then came the long sets for Ironman training...why couldn't I consistently count laps for sets of 300-1000 yards? Somewhere in the middle of the set, my chlorine-saturated brain would think,"Was that 350 or 450?" I tried counting just 50's, then just 100's, and back to counting every 25 yards---that didn't work. I tried "alphabet soup"--each 50 yards a letter, A through T would be 1000 yards--piece of cake, right? Somewhere around M, I couldn't remember if I had done M, was gonna do M, or was now on N. Next I tried naming a bird for each letter, A through T [Alert! You are now entering the very depths of my neurosis.] . That was even more distracting and less effective when I realized that after "Scarlet Trongo" I didn't know if I was finished or had another 50 to swim.

Despite my lap counting handicap, I managed to survive the Ironman swim and live to train another season. I have realized this season that the flaw was not how I was counting my laps, but that I wasn't really thinking about swimming, I was just trying to get it over and done. Unlike running outdoors or riding my Computrainer, there aren't alot of distractions while swimming. Occasionally, at the Nazareth College pool, a couple of co-eds in bikinis with a full face of make-up and perms will take the lane next to me to "aqua-jog" in the shallow end so as to not submerge above neck level. (I call them the BTG's: Bouncing Tittie Girls because they soon realize the lack of support in a bikini top and hold their breasts while water jogging) Anyhoo, their entertainment level quickly wanes and I'm left with my long sets again. I was doing everything I could to distract myself to get through the swim--especially the bird-alphabet thing.

This season the long sets are back. I've resolved to truly focus on the task at hand: improve my swimming. I've stopped thinking about how many sets, laps, 50's, 100's are left. I say to myself,"Your left hand entry, the ache in the pull---this pull, this catch for this stroke right now!" It's not comfortable at all. But I've not miscounted one set so far. I've stopped perseverating and dreading about the swim and just started swimming.

Which brings me to The Matrix, a fine film of post-apocalyptic earth dominated by computers, another Hollywood anthem of our fear and dependence of technology...There is a scene where Neo (played by the ultimate man-bimbo--the himbo Keanu Reeves) is sparring with his mentor, the Yoda of the 21st century, Morpheus. Neo has not realized his potential and his doubt limits him. Morpheus says, "You're faster than this. Don't think you are, know you are."

Certainly, I will put that quote on a mental post-it and file it away for race day. However, even now during the dog-days of base building, that quote is pertinent. My ability to overthink training and racing is "professional grade". Coach tells me to race from the heart; and I admit I don't exactly know what that means. It sounds like I should have confidence in my training and abilities, but I'm finding that it may have more to do with faith. The difference between confidence and faith is subtle but distinct--the like difference between thinking and knowing. When my dad and I discuss medical issues, politics, or history, he likes to ask,"Do you think or do you know?" It makes me stop and think if I could back up my statement with facts or simply state it with unwavering conviction.

So I think about standing in the water on race day. "I'm gonna break 5:45 today. I'm gonna run strong off the bike." Will I merely think this and justify my thoughts by recalling all the hours I've trained, the watts from my last bike test, my Vdot? Or will I know it completely and with certainty?

My hope is that standing in the water before my swim in Feb or standing at the bottom of my driveway before my E-pace run, I just plunge in and start swimming, start running. I'll certainly think about not crossing the midline with my arm entry or keeping my cadence high and my feet light. I'll rehearse all these movements until they are part of my muscle memory. Then on race day, I won't have to think about it. I'll just know.